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artofthestressVIDEO / CIANWOOD ACTION
[ Rarity is standing in front of a large blank piece of posterboard she's procured in town. She does not look happy. In fact, she's fuming. ]
All right! I didn't think I'd have to do this, but apparently certain people here have not quite grasped the subtleties of human attire. And some of them didn't even used to be ponies! So I've put together a brief how-to guide for those of us lacking the proper education or discipline. I'll try to speak slowly so that you all can follow me.
[ She turns around the piece of cardboard. There are two large drawings on it. ]
Humans wear layers of clothing nearly all the time, to preserve certain elements of privacy and to better shape the body. Since these clothes are worn under the more colorful and expressive ones, they are called under-wear. Now, human males need only worry about a single piece of under-wear. [ She taps the left side of the board. ] This may be a pair of "briefs" or "boxers" (even though no boxes are involved, and the length of the former garment only varies slightly from the latter), and it must cover the region directly below the waist, and above the thighs.
Now, human females are an entirely different story. We also must cover the groin region with a garment known as panties, but we are also generally obligated [ here she shoots a glare at the open door in her room ] to wear THESE. [ She points at the right side of the board. ] These are called bras, and they support and conceal a part of the female anatomy which, if exposed, is very rude, frequently provocative, and most importantly, exceedingly unladylike. What's more, it provides excellent support, which is healthier for the back and more appropriate for the basic dress shape.
Now, while I understand you may do whatever you want in your own home, when you venture outside, I would highly recommend discretion, and sticking by these rules. Does everypony understand me?
Good. Now, to continue to a more interesting topic, I've prepared a series of boards that illustrate some possible combinations for human fashion. This should be rather illuminating, particularly if your basic choices are limited to --
[ FWUMP. The loud sound nearby derails Rarity's train of thought, and she falters as she begins to pick up a small stack of poster boards. She glances towards the screen. ]
Ah… do excuse me, I'll just go see what that was… I'm sure it's nothing …
[ She hurries offscreen and the feed is blank for several seconds before a loud shriek is heard: ]
RAINBOW DASH!
[ OOC: Rainbow Dash is out cold! She will be in a coma for about a week while she canon updates. Also, it may be some time before Rarity gets back to the video to respond. ]
[ Rarity is standing in front of a large blank piece of posterboard she's procured in town. She does not look happy. In fact, she's fuming. ]
All right! I didn't think I'd have to do this, but apparently certain people here have not quite grasped the subtleties of human attire. And some of them didn't even used to be ponies! So I've put together a brief how-to guide for those of us lacking the proper education or discipline. I'll try to speak slowly so that you all can follow me.
[ She turns around the piece of cardboard. There are two large drawings on it. ]
Humans wear layers of clothing nearly all the time, to preserve certain elements of privacy and to better shape the body. Since these clothes are worn under the more colorful and expressive ones, they are called under-wear. Now, human males need only worry about a single piece of under-wear. [ She taps the left side of the board. ] This may be a pair of "briefs" or "boxers" (even though no boxes are involved, and the length of the former garment only varies slightly from the latter), and it must cover the region directly below the waist, and above the thighs.
Now, human females are an entirely different story. We also must cover the groin region with a garment known as panties, but we are also generally obligated [ here she shoots a glare at the open door in her room ] to wear THESE. [ She points at the right side of the board. ] These are called bras, and they support and conceal a part of the female anatomy which, if exposed, is very rude, frequently provocative, and most importantly, exceedingly unladylike. What's more, it provides excellent support, which is healthier for the back and more appropriate for the basic dress shape.
Now, while I understand you may do whatever you want in your own home, when you venture outside, I would highly recommend discretion, and sticking by these rules. Does everypony understand me?
Good. Now, to continue to a more interesting topic, I've prepared a series of boards that illustrate some possible combinations for human fashion. This should be rather illuminating, particularly if your basic choices are limited to --
[ FWUMP. The loud sound nearby derails Rarity's train of thought, and she falters as she begins to pick up a small stack of poster boards. She glances towards the screen. ]
Ah… do excuse me, I'll just go see what that was… I'm sure it's nothing …
[ She hurries offscreen and the feed is blank for several seconds before a loud shriek is heard: ]
RAINBOW DASH!
[ OOC: Rainbow Dash is out cold! She will be in a coma for about a week while she canon updates. Also, it may be some time before Rarity gets back to the video to respond. ]
video;
Date: 2013-06-20 11:54 am (UTC)When the feed clicks on from his end, Yusuke is regarding the camera critically and frowning. This facial expression is, in reality, put-upon as hell, but to the casual observer, he's actually pretty convincing. He even sounds appropriately indignant (though to be fair, he almost always does anyway - dude has skills at being grouchy, let me tell you).]
Look, lady, if some girl wants to go around with her tits hangin' out, it's none of your damn business. Just 'cause you're a prude doesn't mean every other chick has to be.
[... how... vaguely feminist of you, Yusuke?? Except, wait, it looks like he isn't stopping there. This can only turn out badly, knowing him; this much is almost foreshadowed by the smarmy grin that suddenly begins spreading across his face.]
Besides, if you ask me, this place'd be more interesting if more girls went around topless. Gives me somethin' to look at besides a bunch of animals scratching their asses.
[And WHOOP, THERE IT IS, Yusuke's not-so-inner pervert. :| And absolutely no one was surprised.]
video;
Date: 2013-06-22 03:55 am (UTC)video;
Date: 2013-06-26 02:29 am (UTC)[And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the shitty expression of someone who feels absolutely no remorse for his own pigheadedness. You're so ~*~edgy~*~, Yusuke.]
video;
Date: 2013-06-30 01:43 am (UTC)You, sir, are why we need to be careful. I sincerely hope you are the lowest common denominator of the human race!
video;
Date: 2013-07-03 06:44 am (UTC)Yeah, okay, whatever. Maybe next time you wanna bitch about your friend going streaking, you should take it up with her directly instead of goin' on the network and giving everybody else hell for it. I doubt I said anything that any of the other straight guys who were watching weren't already thinking.
[... sure, except most guys - straight or otherwise - don't have quite as big of a mouth as you do, Yusuke. But okay, fine, continue looking obnoxiously satisfied with your own life choices if you must. It's not like you're making a terrible first impression or anything. Yusuke grins and goes on to ask her:]
Why the hell would some - what'd you say you were, a pony? - some horse care so much about underwear, anyway? Aren't you guys usually naked?
[There's a teeny, tiny part of him that isn't quite sure whether or not he actually believes that she's telling the truth about being a pony, but given the kind of weird shit he's seen just on the job, he guesses it's not really that much of a stretch. He's just, you know, trying to puzzle out why someone whom he imagines doesn't usually have opposable thumbs would be so concerned with fashion; it seemed like she was ready to start in on another clothing-related lecture before "Rainbow Dash" or whatever interrupted her.]
video;
Date: 2013-07-05 04:08 am (UTC)