artofthestress | Fourth outfit: reading glasses, knee-length green dress, high-heeled shoes.

VIDEO / CIANWOOD ACTION

[ Rarity is standing in front of a large blank piece of posterboard she's procured in town. She does not look happy. In fact, she's fuming. ]

All right! I didn't think I'd have to do this, but apparently certain people here have not quite grasped the subtleties of human attire. And some of them didn't even used to be ponies! So I've put together a brief how-to guide for those of us lacking the proper education or discipline. I'll try to speak slowly so that you all can follow me.

[ She turns around the piece of cardboard. There are two large drawings on it. ]

Humans wear layers of clothing nearly all the time, to preserve certain elements of privacy and to better shape the body. Since these clothes are worn under the more colorful and expressive ones, they are called under-wear. Now, human males need only worry about a single piece of under-wear. [ She taps the left side of the board. ] This may be a pair of "briefs" or "boxers" (even though no boxes are involved, and the length of the former garment only varies slightly from the latter), and it must cover the region directly below the waist, and above the thighs.

Now, human females are an entirely different story. We also must cover the groin region with a garment known as panties, but we are also generally obligated [ here she shoots a glare at the open door in her room ] to wear THESE. [ She points at the right side of the board. ] These are called bras, and they support and conceal a part of the female anatomy which, if exposed, is very rude, frequently provocative, and most importantly, exceedingly unladylike. What's more, it provides excellent support, which is healthier for the back and more appropriate for the basic dress shape.

Now, while I understand you may do whatever you want in your own home, when you venture outside, I would highly recommend discretion, and sticking by these rules. Does everypony understand me?

Good. Now, to continue to a more interesting topic, I've prepared a series of boards that illustrate some possible combinations for human fashion. This should be rather illuminating, particularly if your basic choices are limited to --

[ FWUMP. The loud sound nearby derails Rarity's train of thought, and she falters as she begins to pick up a small stack of poster boards. She glances towards the screen. ]

Ah… do excuse me, I'll just go see what that was… I'm sure it's nothing …

[ She hurries offscreen and the feed is blank for several seconds before a loud shriek is heard: ]

RAINBOW DASH!

[ OOC: Rainbow Dash is out cold! She will be in a coma for about a week while she canon updates. Also, it may be some time before Rarity gets back to the video to respond. ]

Threaded | Flat

From:

arrogantalloy

[Tony watches the entire feed, looking probably more amused than he should at all of this.]

You know, this should almost be like a weekly show. "So, you're now a human: Dress like it" That would be the title if I had any say in it.

From:

misterbriefs

[Wow. She's even more voracious about clothing than his own daughter. Who would have thought that possible. Does he care that Rainbow just went into a coma? Nope.]

Was all that really necessary? You act as if someone decided to lower their trousers and run circles around you for their amusement. And I will say, it certainly worked!

From:

homeofthebraviary

Have people been walking around without underwear?

From:

usedacrobatics

You know another word for those?

Unmentionables.

[He's blushing just a little.]

From:

for_realsies

...Is it safe to come out now?

*Imogen figured it was best to avoid Rarity when she was like... that. Mostly because Imogen supposedly knew better so Rarity seemed even less okay with anything that was totally Applejack's idea.*

What happened to Rainbow Dash!?

*Imogen was wearing a shorts and a tank top as she rushed out. Over proper undergarments because she didn't need more of that look from Rarity. But that wasn't important now while Dash was in trouble.*

From:

angerpoints

[It doesn't occur to Yusuke that "Rainbow Dash" is the name of an actual person, so when he hears Rarity screaming after she'd left to investigate the source of the enormous THUNK that had come from off-screen, he assumes that one of her Pokemon is causing mischief and doesn't concern himself with it. He's got enough issues dealing with his own Pokemon, okay, so if this girl is having problems, she can just deal with it on her own! Besides, he's got way more important things to address here...

When the feed clicks on from his end, Yusuke is regarding the camera critically and frowning. This facial expression is, in reality, put-upon as hell, but to the casual observer, he's actually pretty convincing. He even sounds appropriately indignant (though to be fair, he almost always does anyway - dude has skills at being grouchy, let me tell you).]

Look, lady, if some girl wants to go around with her tits hangin' out, it's none of your damn business. Just 'cause you're a prude doesn't mean every other chick has to be.

[... how... vaguely feminist of you, Yusuke?? Except, wait, it looks like he isn't stopping there. This can only turn out badly, knowing him; this much is almost foreshadowed by the smarmy grin that suddenly begins spreading across his face.]

Besides, if you ask me, this place'd be more interesting if more girls went around topless. Gives me somethin' to look at besides a bunch of animals scratching their asses.

[And WHOOP, THERE IT IS, Yusuke's not-so-inner pervert. :| And absolutely no one was surprised.]

From:

believeit

Is it really worth getting so worked up about? They're just clothes.

[Says the guy wearing orange.]

You're one of those pony-people too right? I know some of them!

From:

fairycircle

Please tell me that this occurring in frequent enough fashion to warrant an explanatory network post is a thing that is hopefully.... ending? Has ended? Will not happen again to the point of surprises on the screen in the morning?

From:

friendyousohard

[Well, this is a very... in-depth lecture. Twilight has to wonder what brought it on.]

What exactly am I missing- Wait, what's going on? Why did you mention Rainbow? Rarity? Rarity!

[Twilight decides that now is a good time to get up from her desk and come see what the hay is going on when she gets no response. Fortunately, it's not like she's far away. She rushes out into the hallway.]

Rarity! Rainbow! What's going on?

From:

brbmakingfriends

[As Pinkie is watching this demonstration Rarity worked so hard for, she follows the once used to be unicorn, in this case right to Rainbow Dash.]

Wow Rarity! Your presentation knocked her away!

From:

sitdownbecider

...I reckon she passed out from wearin' too much clothing.

[Yeah, yeah. She's on her way.]

From:

islandshore

...Man, you sure are passionate about clothes, aren't you?

[Have people really been wandering around in the nude? Either way, she's gotten Riku's attention. The fact that she used to be a pony helps, of course.]

From:

digitalorunknown

[...oh.

He'd been wearing what he'd shown up in because he assumed that was just how humans worked. The new explanation clears things up a bit, even if the reasons presented were a little...odd.

The kid blinks at the video, nodding slowly.]

What happens if you break the rules?

[and, uh] ...are you okay?