VIDEO / CIANWOOD ACTION

[ Rarity is standing in front of a large blank piece of posterboard she's procured in town. She does not look happy. In fact, she's fuming. ]

All right! I didn't think I'd have to do this, but apparently certain people here have not quite grasped the subtleties of human attire. And some of them didn't even used to be ponies! So I've put together a brief how-to guide for those of us lacking the proper education or discipline. I'll try to speak slowly so that you all can follow me.

[ She turns around the piece of cardboard. There are two large drawings on it. ]

Humans wear layers of clothing nearly all the time, to preserve certain elements of privacy and to better shape the body. Since these clothes are worn under the more colorful and expressive ones, they are called under-wear. Now, human males need only worry about a single piece of under-wear. [ She taps the left side of the board. ] This may be a pair of "briefs" or "boxers" (even though no boxes are involved, and the length of the former garment only varies slightly from the latter), and it must cover the region directly below the waist, and above the thighs.

Now, human females are an entirely different story. We also must cover the groin region with a garment known as panties, but we are also generally obligated [ here she shoots a glare at the open door in her room ] to wear THESE. [ She points at the right side of the board. ] These are called bras, and they support and conceal a part of the female anatomy which, if exposed, is very rude, frequently provocative, and most importantly, exceedingly unladylike. What's more, it provides excellent support, which is healthier for the back and more appropriate for the basic dress shape.

Now, while I understand you may do whatever you want in your own home, when you venture outside, I would highly recommend discretion, and sticking by these rules. Does everypony understand me?

Good. Now, to continue to a more interesting topic, I've prepared a series of boards that illustrate some possible combinations for human fashion. This should be rather illuminating, particularly if your basic choices are limited to --

[ FWUMP. The loud sound nearby derails Rarity's train of thought, and she falters as she begins to pick up a small stack of poster boards. She glances towards the screen. ]

Ah… do excuse me, I'll just go see what that was… I'm sure it's nothing …

[ She hurries offscreen and the feed is blank for several seconds before a loud shriek is heard: ]

RAINBOW DASH!


[ OOC: Rainbow Dash is out cold! She will be in a coma for about a week while she canon updates. Also, it may be some time before Rarity gets back to the video to respond. ]